Second Time Around

My second chemo treatment was yesterday and the good news is that I
was only there from 9:00-3:30 which is quite a bit less time that my
first chemo treatment three weeks ago. I guess there were a couple
factors at play that made it go by faster. First there were less
patients and second since I didn't have any adverse reactions during
my first treatment so I think the drip was faster. Either way it was
good news for me. I got home early enough that I got to see my kids
before crashing in bed!

I am more nauseated this time which is not a complete surprise. I have
heard it both ways that treatments get harder as you go along, the
doctors don't agree but every patient says that it is the case. I am
of the belief that with your body already weak and full of drugs
having another treatment on top of it brings on harsher symptoms. I
guess the doctors see it as they aren't giving you stronger drugs each
time so it should be the same.

I am a little frightened of one of the symptoms they keep checking
for. A side effect of my chemo drugs is numbness in your fingers and
toes that NEVER goes away. The chances of this happening grow with
each treatment. If you are praying for me could I be so bold as to
ask that you ask that I not get numbness or loss of feeling in my
fingers and toes. Of all the symptoms and side effects I can't imagine
not being able to feel with my hands or balance with my toes. It
really has me scared. I am fine so far but I still have six weeks to
go.

I have so many thank you notes to write but I am afraid my "chemo"
brain has kicked in big time (you may be able to tell from this post
just how dumb I have gotten, unless Fredia proof reads it, then maybe
the secret isn't out yet). I hope that you all know how much I love
and appreciate you and all you do for me and my family. I wish I
could individually thank each of you and I probably will throughout
the months ahead as I regain some brain power. Please know that you
have made this journey easier and more pleasant with your kindness,
service and love. Thank you especially for taking care of my babies.
I am not the mom I want to be right now and so many are filling in for
me that my children are adjusting and expanding their circles of love
too and I have been able to see them grow. I appreciate that more
than words can express.

Someone was teasing me recently that when I am drugged I get all
lovey. I guess that is true. Hopefully that is something I can hold
onto even after the drugs wear off though because it is something I
need to say more often. I love you! Yes you! You know who you are and
you know how you have blessed my life. Thank you, thank you, thank
you!

P.S. This took me an hour to write. Pathetic Chemo Brain